To Know Oneself
“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.”
We all come to this medicine for different reasons, but I believe it changes us in similar ways.
In the traditions of East Asian Medicine, we are taught what it means to be a superior practitioner - being compassionate, and giving all of our intention to our patient in the present moment. However, therein lies a possible problem.
A few new-ish practitioners have reached out to me over the years with similar concerns:
“I feel very tired at the end of the day. I don’t have any energy left over for me or my family.”
“I had me seeing 8 patients a day in my business plan, but I can only see 5.”
“I often take on my patient’s ailments. How do I not do this?”
These three scenarios have something in common: each practitioner is giving TOO MUCH of something to each patient, and my recommendation is always the same: pull back. Here are some suggestions:
“I am very tired at the end of each day.”
Slow down. Slow down your movements and your thoughts.
Keep conversations in the clinic room light outside of their chief concerns.
Stop trying to fix everything to do with your patient. Be patient. Refer.
“I had me seeing 8 patients a day in my business plan, but I can only see 5.”
Stop spending so much time in the room with the patient (unless this is your preferred practice style). Let the needles do the work - not your mouth.
If you want to spend more time with patients, and can only see 5 a day, you need to be compensated for your time and energy output. Charge 1.25 the amount you would usually charge - or even 1.5 times.
Stop trying to get so much done in one visit.
“I often take on my patient’s ailments. How do I not do this?”
Stop being so involved with your patients and their conditions.
Picture yourself as being a catalyst for change, not a fixture in someone’s healing.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Be compassionate, but view the information that someone is giving you as DATA for your diagnosis. When they know that what they tell you is valuable to your treatment, this is good enough for them.
The opposite of these scenarios is also true. There’s no question that some practitioners need to gain good bedside manner. (I have a digital download in my shop on this topic.) This is why I believe being in practice changes us all in a similar way - we’re all working towards some sort of middle ground between being compassionate and having boundaries.
This is important stuff. If a practitioner is already the ‘nice person’ giving type, constant patient attentiveness can eventually lead to burnout. If a practitioner is the ‘prickly’ type, they’ll constantly be chasing patients away and wonder why they’re not getting any results (which can eventually lead to burnout).
Pointing the finger back at yourself is hard, but a necessary part of being human. After years in this industry, I still have to point the finger back at myself. I continually establish my own rules and regulations for missed appointments and late cancellations. (Patients get one warning, and then have to pay. If a patient misses three appointments in a row, they have to pre-pay before I will allow them to rebook. In the event they miss that appointment, I then keep the whole fee. Patients who are more than 15 minutes late are not treated and charged a fee.) Also, I’ve had to look at my self-worth in terms of charging a professional fee. (You might wonder why a car mechanic has no problem billing themselves out at $80-90/hour, but why do we?)
Life isn’t perfect, and we don’t always get it right, but if we can study ourselves - and I really mean STUDY OURSELVES - in action with another person, we can keep getting better.
In closing, here are two metaphors for every patient situation:
When approaching a drowning person, one does so feet first so as to not get dragged down and then there are two drowning people. Approach all patients feet first and keep them there.
When a person is down a well, one does not go down the well to retrieve them. Instead, one throws a rope down and the trapped person climbs out themselves. Never go down your patient’s well. Your ears, a reassuring tone of voice, acupuncture, herbs, cupping, moxibustion, gua sha, etc. are your rope.